Rethinking my Views On Modesty
Last summer I wrote a post titled What Exactly is Immodest Dressing – A List and after reading it again over a year later, I had to cringe quite a bit. Growth and maturity is a beautiful thing and as humans we constantly have maturing to do. As I’ve been reflecting on things over the past month, and deepening my relationship with God through prayer and reading the Bible, I have come across a number of revelations that have left me so liberated. And one particular area has been on the way I dress and how I view modesty. It a nutshell it has changed.
A List?
In my old post, I gave a list (albeit short) on what I considered immodest clothing. I wanted to be helpful. I wanted to guide young women especially on the pitfalls of dressing styles to avoid. But I realise that though it may seem like suitable advice, it would actually lending to one’s tendency to then judge others if they dressed ‘immodestly’. But then I thought further, and when it comes to a lot of what Jesus taught he gave a lot of advice on what to do rather than what not to do. He warned us about being like the Pharisees who set artificial rules on what not to do such as healing on the Sabbath day or eating before washing – both of which Jesus intentionally broke to expose their hypocrisy and pride.
Psychologically we love to be encouraged to do things rather than be put under pressure about a long list of things not to do. Have you read Leviticus? But it served a purpose for a reason. We need grace and that’s why Jesus came down to earth to die for our sins so that whosoever believeth on him will not perish but have everlasting life. We are not saved by works, but by his grace. But what about the 10 commandments you may ask? There’s a bunch of ‘Do not’ commands right? Well, when Jesus was asked what the most important commandment is, he answered saying just the first two – Love God with all your heart, and love your neighbour as yourself. These are both do commandments. When you obey both commandments, it fulfils the rest. When you love God and others, you naturally wouldn’t want to kill anybody, you wouldn’t want to lie against somebody, you wouldn’t want to steal from someone else.
So likewise with how anybody dresses; rather than having a list of don’ts on what to wear, seek to have a relationship with Christ first and he will naturally put in your heart on how to dress. He knows you best, so if you like to dress up or dress a certain way, you can still do so guided by God’s love and your conscience will let you know that you’re good. So when we as the body of Christ give rules on what not to wear, I think this leads to a lot of pride, judgemental hearts, confusion and bondage. I have seen it first hand. Young Christians dressing a certain way in church but differently outside that they know fits the list of do nots. Their heart is not condemned by the Holy Spirit but by men, which is a pity. They harbour a tempered conscience because of man-made doctrine, which Jesus rebuked. And then if caught they are branded as fake, which isn’t fair. The whole Bible lends much importance to the inward parts of our hearts and our relationships with others. This is how we truly know who are the children of God – by their fruit.
But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.
Matthew 15:9
I have always been into fashion and dressing well, I come from a family who see the importance of it. I also feel happier when I dress well and see others do the same. I hope to be that person that encourages you to look lovely. Believe it or not but how you dress is connected to the health of your mind. And it doesn’t have to be major as in dressing to the 9s but just as simply as being well put together and clean on a regular basis. Don’t forget, there’s grace, so we will sometimes have days when we’re a bit off. I have lately had sessions with my psychiatrist and when I read my post-meeting reports I was surprised to read that they commented on what I wore! They commented on my presentation, the colour of my top and even the style of top I wore. These are signs that they use to paint a picture on how mentally well someone is. I found that very interesting.
Let thy garments be always white; and let thy head lack no ointment.
Ecclesiastes 9:8
I love how God is into details, I mean when you read his instructions for how the temple was to be built and the garments of the priests, then you’ll know that God has impeccable taste – I mean of course right! Even the beautiful allegory of God taking on a infant girl and bedecking her with fine things as she grows up is just so emotionally touching (Ezekiel 16:10-13):
I clothed thee also with broidered work, and shod thee with badgers’ skin, and I girded thee about with fine linen, and I covered thee with silk.
I decked thee also with ornaments, and I put bracelets upon thy hands, and a chain on thy neck.
And I put a jewel on thy forehead, and earrings in thine ears, and a beautiful crown upon thine head.
Thus wast thou decked with gold and silver; and thy raiment was of fine linen, and silk, and broidered work; thou didst eat fine flour, and honey, and oil: and thou wast exceeding beautiful, and thou didst prosper into a kingdom.
*To note the KJV actually omits nose ring from verse 12. Because of cultural expectations in the 17th century they didn’t want to include it. That’s why it’s important to look at the Hebrew text analysis of verses to get the fuller meaning, or look at parallel translations, because I’ve often seen that some verses are not translated as they should be in the KJV.
And then we want to say that God doesn’t desire for us to adorn ourselves, if we so wish to? The beauty of the word of God, is that it is alive. As we read and read, and pray and pray for the Holy Spirit to interpret the scripture, things will begin to make more sense and you will grow to see God’s plan for our lives and he greatly wants to set us free and bless us.
