Advice for young black girls
If you know me, I’m passionate about a number of topics relating to women. There’s a lot of advice given to young women, but not enough for young girls and black girls in particular. I wrote a previous post sharing my advice to young girls in general, which can be read here. However, I’m writing this one for young black girls, because their experience and history is, and has been, very different with a number of disruptions. As a mother to black children, I am especially keen to nurture them in ways similar to my own upbringing but enhanced through my own amassed knowledge over the years. But note, that this is not a post to keep you feeling like a victim, but instead to lift you up and make you understand that with faith all things are possible.
Be Kind and Sweet
This is a condensed note of a much longer post on this, which you can read here, but in essence young black girls, be sweet. The world, particularly the western world, wants to paint you as someone who is angry, loud and brash. Do your best to prove them wrong by being the opposite. If you are in a situation that is tense, remember to pray so that you don’t do anything or say anything that will ignite the flame and get you into trouble. When it comes to your name, let other always have a good word to say about your character. Endeavour to be sweet, because that is God’s will for you – to be meek, gentle and of a kind spirited nature.
Don’t allow your blackness to victimize you
Over the years I’ve heard from black women, who worry too much whether they’re going to get a certain job position or opportunity due to the fact that they are black. They see their race as a hindrance. They choose to believe that prejudice will not allow them to prosper beyond a certain level. As you think, so you will be. Granted, centuries ago in the Western world things were different, but thank God for the freedom you have today. You are free to do whatever you want and to be whatever you want to be, according to God’s perfect will for you.
Remember young girls who rules the universe, it is not man but God! If God wants you to have a certain opportunity, He will do it for you. That enterprise will hire you, and yes you may be the first black woman to work there, or you may be the first black girl to win a competition. These are just examples out of so many scenarios; the essence is to trust God and not in yourself or others to get you where you need to be.
And to the African girls, whether you’re Nigerian, Ghanaian, Rwandese, or wherever – remember that God made you. He made you in his image and you were made beautiful and with a mind to great and wonderful things. You are privileged to be living in the land of rich resources – so tap into them, seek the opportunities and to amazing things around you.
Take black people’s travel experiences with a pinch of salt
I’ve read forums and watched videos where black people come together to collectively blacklist a country and deem it as particularly unfriendly to black people. Now I don’t want to trivialise this matter, because unfortunately no matter where you go there is certain to be individuals who have a prejudice against a certain race. Be careful however that your actions when travelling abroad does not fit the negative stereotypes attributed to black people. Your reputation matters. Certain cultures have been branded with a bad reputation abroad because of their excessive drunkenness and bad behaviour.
Bad behaviour doesn’t get you liked. So change the narrative and make sure that when you are travelling you are comporting yourself decently, with proprietary and sense. Don’t let other people’s experiences deter you, your sweet nature will soften the tension.
Be entrepreneurial
I wish I had mentors to lead me in this direction from a young age. I had numerous business ideas but I was clueless on how to properly execute them. Starting a business from young will give you ample amount of time to make mistakes and learn from them. I say this because when you have a family with dependants, then you’ll have to be quite risk-averse and take much caution when starting a business because you have mouths to feed.
A great benefit of working for yourself is that you can set your own hours. Sure, at the beginning you may be focusing a lot of your time on the business, but over time you’ll have a lot more flexibility. Also it’s perfect for when starting your family, because it means you can be at home and do all the lovely things you want to do within your humble abode and community, and at your own pace and in your own time.
Desire Marriage and Motherhood
The great majority of you girls will get married and have children of your own – It’s a blessed vocation! Although it requires so much self and responsibility, the benefits are tradeless! There’s a great feeling about having a home of your own; to make it your own and to inject your love and care to it. Just like a plant, if you water it and nourish it will grown strong and beautiful. Many today are putting off marriage to much later, or going against it completely – this is wrong. If natural circumstances delay you getting marriage, then it is for a reason and you must seek God’s guidance. However not preparing yourself for marriage for the sake of a career or travelling the world, is a worldly pursuit rather than a Godly one.
Stay at Home
Furthermore prepare your mind and your situation to be able to stay at home. The bible instructs women to stay at home for a reason. Nothing beats being able to set your own routine, where your day is dictated by you. Your sanctuary cannot be competed with the majority of your hours spent in an office somewhere. Furthermore it’s absolutely crucial when you have children of your own. Many women are leaving the workforce to stay at home because they realise the latter is better for everyone in their household. God’s ways are perfect, let’s not complicate matters for ourselves, which will only lead to stress.
However there is grace and if you find that circumstances call you to the workforce then so be it and pray that it will only be temporary.
Prioritise Your Health
I’ve mentioned this area in my post titled ‘Ladies you have freedom to beautify yourself‘ – where I stress the importance of keeping yourself fit and healthy. You don’t need to have toned abs, but you should be strong enough to run around and do manual labour. Thankfully we have so much knowledge and information around us, so no one has excuse. Right now I am doing a sugar fast because I realise my desire for it is too strong and I must overcome the power it has over me by resisting it for a time. This may be you, or perhaps you find you are snacking too much. Then that’s a call for you to determine in your mind not to eat between meals for a prolonged time so that you rehabitualise your mind to not snacking. The french are known for their trimmed physique particularly because they do not snack. So there are key notes we can take from that.
She girdeth her loins with strength
Proverbs 31:17
Have a hobby
Have a hobby black girls! I was thinking the other day, that when I’m on social media I see many non-black women showcasing their skills in knitting, sewing, crocheting, art, music etc. It’s great, but I wish that more black women would find a hobby to do outside of work. This is a wonderful way to make money through the work of your hands! Showcase your talent, encourage others to do the same and perhaps earn a living from it. There’s a dearth of manual skills today, and I think we should get back into working with our hands and not just our minds.
And talking to my fellow Nigerian girls, and Africans in general – find a hobby to do outside of work. Whether that’s learning to cook different cultural dishes, baking, painting, playing a musical instrument – try it out and improve your skills. One interesting video I watched was of two Americans who have lived in Nigeria for almost 40 years. At 16:00, they expressed the observation that Nigerians lack interests outside of work. Is that they case for you? Then make a change to that and inspire those around you. Do you have land? Then plant a garden with fruits, vegetables and flowers. The list of ideas are endless.
In Conclusion Trust in God
The Bible says my people perish because of lack of knowledge. My black people, focus less on the reality tv shows and celebrities and focus more on how you can better yourself and those around you. Read books, not just any books, but books from 100 years ago and earlier. There is so much lost knowledge to be reinjected into today’s society. Trust God always and he will direct your paths. Know that you cannot do anything without Him.
Much love and God bless.
